Monday, September 04, 2006
HDate - a UK based dating site for people with herpes
I've just visited the HDate forum, a UK based community for people with herpes. There's a forum where you can discuss any questions/worries that you might have about herpes - and also, if you want to, you can post an ad looking for a partner.
One of the topics that comes up often in the forums is how to tell someone that you have herpes. It's important to tell before you start an intimate relationship and a lot of people feel quite scared of this.
There's a fear that the other person will just disappear - scared off by the thought of an infectious disease that stays with you.
If you are in this position, one key thing to remember is that you are a great person and you deserve the best - and all relationships need to be approached with this attitude.
If people disappear then they either weren't right for you, weren't good enough for you or weren't mature enough for you.
And believe it or not, their disappearing has nothing to do with you!
If this is happening a lot then you would appear to be attracting the wrong kind of person for you. It's time to look at how you might attract the right kind of person for you.
How do you do this?
People give out signals all the time - and these signals are what either attracts other people to us or repels people.
If you want to attract a person who is more in tune with you, you need to start giving out messages that emphasise what you want in your heart and that also emphasise your good points. You need to think about what you really want from a relationship.
Once you start paying attention to these things, both in your mind and by your actions, you will begin to attract people who like you for who you are - and who are less likely to disappear when you tell them that you have herpes.
Wishing you well,
Alison
One of the topics that comes up often in the forums is how to tell someone that you have herpes. It's important to tell before you start an intimate relationship and a lot of people feel quite scared of this.
There's a fear that the other person will just disappear - scared off by the thought of an infectious disease that stays with you.
If you are in this position, one key thing to remember is that you are a great person and you deserve the best - and all relationships need to be approached with this attitude.
If people disappear then they either weren't right for you, weren't good enough for you or weren't mature enough for you.
And believe it or not, their disappearing has nothing to do with you!
If this is happening a lot then you would appear to be attracting the wrong kind of person for you. It's time to look at how you might attract the right kind of person for you.
How do you do this?
People give out signals all the time - and these signals are what either attracts other people to us or repels people.
If you want to attract a person who is more in tune with you, you need to start giving out messages that emphasise what you want in your heart and that also emphasise your good points. You need to think about what you really want from a relationship.
Once you start paying attention to these things, both in your mind and by your actions, you will begin to attract people who like you for who you are - and who are less likely to disappear when you tell them that you have herpes.
Wishing you well,
Alison
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Not feeling normal...
When herpes is more of a long term problem than a temporary irritation, a lot of people say that they don't feel 'normal'. More than that, there is a strong desire to feel normal again. To get things back to where they were.
It can be quite distressing.
But let's take a different perspective.
All that has happened is that you have lost the normality that you once knew. This happens to us every time we experience a change. At all stages of life - I was chatting with someone whose young son had just started school last week and she described how her son was having to adapt to new rules - like not always being able to choose what he wanted to do.
From a child's eye perspective, his world has changed dramatically.
Fortunately, small children adapt easily - but as adults it's slightly different, because sometimes we take our identities, our sense of who we are, from the things that define us - and this makes our normality.
Adaptability and curiousity aid the child as he makes the transitions that are required of him - how adaptable are you? How curious are you?
What can motivate you to 'go with the change' and create a new normality that works for you?
Life is more about change and growth than most of us realise. Sometimes we are the architects of the change and growth - and at other times we aren't.
Many of us resist change and growth - and then suddenlyl, 'wham!', it is forced on us from the outside and we have an experience that can either stop us in our tracks - or, if we go with it, be a catalyst for moving into a new phase of life.
Losing a sense of normality is usual for this experience - and the message of this experience is that here is an opportunity to grow and become stronger.
It can be quite distressing.
But let's take a different perspective.
All that has happened is that you have lost the normality that you once knew. This happens to us every time we experience a change. At all stages of life - I was chatting with someone whose young son had just started school last week and she described how her son was having to adapt to new rules - like not always being able to choose what he wanted to do.
From a child's eye perspective, his world has changed dramatically.
Fortunately, small children adapt easily - but as adults it's slightly different, because sometimes we take our identities, our sense of who we are, from the things that define us - and this makes our normality.
Adaptability and curiousity aid the child as he makes the transitions that are required of him - how adaptable are you? How curious are you?
What can motivate you to 'go with the change' and create a new normality that works for you?
Life is more about change and growth than most of us realise. Sometimes we are the architects of the change and growth - and at other times we aren't.
Many of us resist change and growth - and then suddenlyl, 'wham!', it is forced on us from the outside and we have an experience that can either stop us in our tracks - or, if we go with it, be a catalyst for moving into a new phase of life.
Losing a sense of normality is usual for this experience - and the message of this experience is that here is an opportunity to grow and become stronger.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Building Positive Feelings
Positive feelings are contentment, joy, happiness, connection, pleasant anticipation. They can also include confidence, 'get up and go' and a sense that you are on a good path.
Negative feelings, on the other hand, are anger, frustration, irritation, unhappiness, disconnection. They can also include a lack of confidence, low energy and a feeling that you are going nowhere.
Negative feelings and herpes seem to go hand in hand, especially in the early stages. You might be feeling confused, uncertain and somehow contaminated - as though life has dealt you a very bad set of cards.
Unfortunately, negative feelings breed negative feelings. If you keep focussing on the downside, that is where you will stay.
So, how do you get from feeling negative to feeling positive.
I need to stress here that I'm not one of the 'happy clappy' relentlessly positive people that you come across. Those people who say 'think positive and all will be perfect in your life'. This approach is based on a level of truth, it's not the whole story.
This is because your attempt at positive thinking will do battle with your deep inner certainty that you've been dealt a very bad hand and it's really difficult to see a way out.
So, you begin to have the experience of a pendulum. On good days, you will be relentlessly positive and and pendulum will be stuck at one extreme - and then something happens, or you get tired, and the pendulum swings dramatically to the other side.
Clearly this isn't the way to be.
What you need is a little more balance.
The way to do this is to build more balance in your life.
Believe it or not, we are all entitled to feelings of joy, contentment, happiness, connection and pleasant anticipation. They are our birthright, but they don't happen automatically.
If you are not experiencing feelings of contentment and happiness, then there are things that you can do to begin experiencing them.
I know that this is quite surprising to a lot of people. It's easy to think and feel that some things are out of our control and it can often seem that way. Especially with herpes, which is a virus that can seem to threaten our ability to have 'normal relationships'.
You might not be able to control the fact that you have herpes, but you can take responsibility for building positive feelings in your life.
Building positive feelings is different from positive thinking. It's like strengthening a muscle by training it regularly. When you consciously build positive feelings, you are building a foundation on which a positive approach to life will have more impact.
So, how do you build positive feelings?
Let's take contentment as an example.
If you don't feel contentment, where do you start?
Contentment comes from the awareness that everything is just as it should be, everything is slotting into place.
To build a feeling of contentment, might I suggest that you look at your life to find those areas where everything has already slotted into place...
It might be that you are living in a beautiful place, but can't see it because your focus is on the bad luck that herpes has brought you.
Maybe it is time to acknowledge the good fortune that has come your way and helped you to find a place to live that exactly meets your needs.
Friendships, family, career opportunities, invitations, environment, gifts - all contribute to our feelings of contentment.
Build feelings of contentment by listing and acknowledging all of those areas of your life that you know to be perfect just as they are. Pay attention to this and you will be building positive feelings in your life and as you do this, so your experience of the negative will decrease.
It's a gradual shift and if you do it every day, a little bit at a time, you will build balance into your life - and herpes will slowly become less significant.
You can do it - and when you do you'll notice the difference because you will get your life back.
Wishing you well,
Alison
Negative feelings, on the other hand, are anger, frustration, irritation, unhappiness, disconnection. They can also include a lack of confidence, low energy and a feeling that you are going nowhere.
Negative feelings and herpes seem to go hand in hand, especially in the early stages. You might be feeling confused, uncertain and somehow contaminated - as though life has dealt you a very bad set of cards.
Unfortunately, negative feelings breed negative feelings. If you keep focussing on the downside, that is where you will stay.
So, how do you get from feeling negative to feeling positive.
I need to stress here that I'm not one of the 'happy clappy' relentlessly positive people that you come across. Those people who say 'think positive and all will be perfect in your life'. This approach is based on a level of truth, it's not the whole story.
This is because your attempt at positive thinking will do battle with your deep inner certainty that you've been dealt a very bad hand and it's really difficult to see a way out.
So, you begin to have the experience of a pendulum. On good days, you will be relentlessly positive and and pendulum will be stuck at one extreme - and then something happens, or you get tired, and the pendulum swings dramatically to the other side.
Clearly this isn't the way to be.
What you need is a little more balance.
The way to do this is to build more balance in your life.
Believe it or not, we are all entitled to feelings of joy, contentment, happiness, connection and pleasant anticipation. They are our birthright, but they don't happen automatically.
If you are not experiencing feelings of contentment and happiness, then there are things that you can do to begin experiencing them.
I know that this is quite surprising to a lot of people. It's easy to think and feel that some things are out of our control and it can often seem that way. Especially with herpes, which is a virus that can seem to threaten our ability to have 'normal relationships'.
You might not be able to control the fact that you have herpes, but you can take responsibility for building positive feelings in your life.
Building positive feelings is different from positive thinking. It's like strengthening a muscle by training it regularly. When you consciously build positive feelings, you are building a foundation on which a positive approach to life will have more impact.
So, how do you build positive feelings?
Let's take contentment as an example.
If you don't feel contentment, where do you start?
Contentment comes from the awareness that everything is just as it should be, everything is slotting into place.
To build a feeling of contentment, might I suggest that you look at your life to find those areas where everything has already slotted into place...
It might be that you are living in a beautiful place, but can't see it because your focus is on the bad luck that herpes has brought you.
Maybe it is time to acknowledge the good fortune that has come your way and helped you to find a place to live that exactly meets your needs.
Friendships, family, career opportunities, invitations, environment, gifts - all contribute to our feelings of contentment.
Build feelings of contentment by listing and acknowledging all of those areas of your life that you know to be perfect just as they are. Pay attention to this and you will be building positive feelings in your life and as you do this, so your experience of the negative will decrease.
It's a gradual shift and if you do it every day, a little bit at a time, you will build balance into your life - and herpes will slowly become less significant.
You can do it - and when you do you'll notice the difference because you will get your life back.
Wishing you well,
Alison
Friday, August 25, 2006
Herpes Diagnosis: Turning Things Around
So, you've been to see the Doctor or visit the GUM clinic. You've been diagnosed with herpes and now you are beginning to read about it.
It's frightening: herpes is for life, it doesn't go away: you can infect other people, it is going to affect your sex life negatively.
Please don't stop reading here. Most people do. It's quite a lot to take in and all you can hear is 'you can't do this,' 'you can't do that'.
And because that is the message that you are being given, it's the message that you believe.
I'm giving you a different message.
This message is that although something has changed - in that you now have herpes - you can and will have and do all the things that you want to have and do.
All that needs to happen is that you learn to do a few things differently.
It isn't easy, I know.
How do you pluck up the courage to tell a potential partner that you have herpes?
How do you begin to feel comfortable with yourself when you know that you have a sexually transmitted infection?
To start with, it's important to find a level of acceptance. You might feel a need to withdraw from people for a while. This is fine, it's natural and normal to need space to come to terms with something.
This is when it can help to talk to someone neutral - someone who isn't involved in your life and has no vested interest in who you are to them.
Withdrawing for a whil is OK, but it's not all that good to stay in this space - at some point - without leaving it too long - it's important to get back into life and living.
This is where you start to turn things around.
How do you find the strength to turn things around? Where does it come from? How do people stop feeling self conscious about herpes?
As I have written already, it's important to choose a positive response, to keep focussed on what you want from life.
For many of you this is the normal relationship, the carefree loving, having children and the family that you dream about. It's about being respected and being seen to be normal.
This decision is important. It's the first step in turning things around. It keeps you focussed.
It also gives you information about what you need to do.
But how do you find the strength to turn things around?
Some of the clues are in how you feel.
If you feel self conscious about talking about herpes then you might ask yourself, what would make me feel less self conscious about talking about herpes?
Or, you could look at a person who is getting on with their life despite herpes and ask, 'what qualities do they have that enables them to talk about herpes easily?'
One anwer might be more self confidence. Or it might be that they are happier in their own skin.
And in asking this question and answering, you find that you have been directed to a course of action.
High self conficence and bing comfortable in our own skin are not qualities that are given out at birth with no chance of acquiring them later. They are things that we learn during life, as part of life. Sometimes we learn it quietly and easily, in the company of friends. Other times, life gives a jolt - a higher degree of self confidence becomes vitally important.
In these instances it's important to listen. If you don't listen, you stay stuck and life passes you by.
Many professionals specialise in confidence building. We can all benefit from it - even those who appear to be confident, because we are all growing, all of the time.
So, when you find yourself not foing something because it scares you, ask yourself what is missing - what quality would make it easier - and then go and find a way to bring more of that quality into your life and you will find that you will be able to do the thing that scared you most and that your life is opening out in the best possible way.
Wishing you well,
Alison
It's frightening: herpes is for life, it doesn't go away: you can infect other people, it is going to affect your sex life negatively.
Please don't stop reading here. Most people do. It's quite a lot to take in and all you can hear is 'you can't do this,' 'you can't do that'.
And because that is the message that you are being given, it's the message that you believe.
I'm giving you a different message.
This message is that although something has changed - in that you now have herpes - you can and will have and do all the things that you want to have and do.
All that needs to happen is that you learn to do a few things differently.
It isn't easy, I know.
How do you pluck up the courage to tell a potential partner that you have herpes?
How do you begin to feel comfortable with yourself when you know that you have a sexually transmitted infection?
To start with, it's important to find a level of acceptance. You might feel a need to withdraw from people for a while. This is fine, it's natural and normal to need space to come to terms with something.
This is when it can help to talk to someone neutral - someone who isn't involved in your life and has no vested interest in who you are to them.
Withdrawing for a whil is OK, but it's not all that good to stay in this space - at some point - without leaving it too long - it's important to get back into life and living.
This is where you start to turn things around.
How do you find the strength to turn things around? Where does it come from? How do people stop feeling self conscious about herpes?
As I have written already, it's important to choose a positive response, to keep focussed on what you want from life.
For many of you this is the normal relationship, the carefree loving, having children and the family that you dream about. It's about being respected and being seen to be normal.
This decision is important. It's the first step in turning things around. It keeps you focussed.
It also gives you information about what you need to do.
But how do you find the strength to turn things around?
Some of the clues are in how you feel.
If you feel self conscious about talking about herpes then you might ask yourself, what would make me feel less self conscious about talking about herpes?
Or, you could look at a person who is getting on with their life despite herpes and ask, 'what qualities do they have that enables them to talk about herpes easily?'
One anwer might be more self confidence. Or it might be that they are happier in their own skin.
And in asking this question and answering, you find that you have been directed to a course of action.
High self conficence and bing comfortable in our own skin are not qualities that are given out at birth with no chance of acquiring them later. They are things that we learn during life, as part of life. Sometimes we learn it quietly and easily, in the company of friends. Other times, life gives a jolt - a higher degree of self confidence becomes vitally important.
In these instances it's important to listen. If you don't listen, you stay stuck and life passes you by.
Many professionals specialise in confidence building. We can all benefit from it - even those who appear to be confident, because we are all growing, all of the time.
So, when you find yourself not foing something because it scares you, ask yourself what is missing - what quality would make it easier - and then go and find a way to bring more of that quality into your life and you will find that you will be able to do the thing that scared you most and that your life is opening out in the best possible way.
Wishing you well,
Alison
Thursday, August 24, 2006
After a herpes diagnosis...
For many, the herpes diagnosis comes as a shock.
How can this happen to me?
How has this happened to me?
Why?
We can spend a lot of time on the 'why' and the 'how' - even though it doesn't change anything, because once you know that you have herpes it isn't going to 'go away' in the way that we want it to.
This is where, when you learn that you have herpes, it becomes extremely important to choose your response.
It might seem that a herpes infection is going to stop you from enjoying normal sexual relationships or even a relationship itself.
However, all it does is ask that you behave more carefully with regard to your sexual relationships.
Is there a difference?
Very much so.
Too many people react to a herpes diagnosis by thinking that it 'is the end of the world', the end of carefree sexual intimacy. The end of their adult sexual life.
Yet an equal number of people with herpes successfully enjoy fun filled sexually intimate relationships.
Knowing this, tells you that it is possible to to enjoy normal sexual relationships, despite having herpes.
What makes the difference?
The difference comes from your response.
When you find that you have herpes you can choose your response.
You can choose to let it dictate the terms and so inhibit your life.
Or, you can respond by saying that you are not going to let herpes inhibit you and you claim your right to enjoy a fulfilling relationship.
When you make this choice, you are choosing to meet the challenges that herpes has presented you with.
If you feel self conscious about telling someone that you have herpes, then you choose to change inside so that you can do this without feeling self conscious. It is possible and when you make this choice, you grow inside, you begin to become stronger.
Other people will see this, they will want to know you and your life will open out.
Make a choice to meet the challenges that herpes has presented you with.
Alison McVey
Herpes Dating Help
'Giving the Talk' - this free information pack shows how you can unlock your natural confidence and strength so that you feel really comfortable giving the 'the talk'
How can this happen to me?
How has this happened to me?
Why?
We can spend a lot of time on the 'why' and the 'how' - even though it doesn't change anything, because once you know that you have herpes it isn't going to 'go away' in the way that we want it to.
This is where, when you learn that you have herpes, it becomes extremely important to choose your response.
It might seem that a herpes infection is going to stop you from enjoying normal sexual relationships or even a relationship itself.
However, all it does is ask that you behave more carefully with regard to your sexual relationships.
Is there a difference?
Very much so.
Too many people react to a herpes diagnosis by thinking that it 'is the end of the world', the end of carefree sexual intimacy. The end of their adult sexual life.
Yet an equal number of people with herpes successfully enjoy fun filled sexually intimate relationships.
Knowing this, tells you that it is possible to to enjoy normal sexual relationships, despite having herpes.
What makes the difference?
The difference comes from your response.
When you find that you have herpes you can choose your response.
You can choose to let it dictate the terms and so inhibit your life.
Or, you can respond by saying that you are not going to let herpes inhibit you and you claim your right to enjoy a fulfilling relationship.
When you make this choice, you are choosing to meet the challenges that herpes has presented you with.
If you feel self conscious about telling someone that you have herpes, then you choose to change inside so that you can do this without feeling self conscious. It is possible and when you make this choice, you grow inside, you begin to become stronger.
Other people will see this, they will want to know you and your life will open out.
Make a choice to meet the challenges that herpes has presented you with.
Alison McVey
Herpes Dating Help
'Giving the Talk' - this free information pack shows how you can unlock your natural confidence and strength so that you feel really comfortable giving the 'the talk'
Monday, June 12, 2006
Health Care, Herpes and Paying for Help
Do you or don't you?
Should we or shouldn't we?
I've had a few conversations recently on this subject. Quite heated conversations actually. I'm usually in the camp that says that there is a place for complementary therapists and healers, that they need to eat too and that paying a reasonable fee for their services is ethical and acceptable.
However, there's a school of thought that says that no one should have to pay for health care help, ever. If it's not available through publically available healthcare system then it's a scam, is unlikely to work and if you choose to use it, all that you are doing is exposing yourself to the tricks of charlatans and crooks.
Well, maybe that can happen sometimes - but it doesn't happen all of the time and there are also ways to protect yourself from charlatans and crooks. (You have to engage in extensive personal development work to achieve this.)
This school of thought has a very loud voice and loves to discuss the shortcomings of charlatans and the danger they pose to innocently sick people. And if I'm not careful, I can get dragged into this argument.
But this argument goes nowhere. The critics and the sceptics want to prove a point and, to an extent at the moment they can. As long as there is no trust, the charlatans and the crooks will continue to exist. But that is a different story altogether.
What I want to point you in the direction of is the VALUE that can be gained from seeking as much help as you can from as many different sources.
Let's say that you've had herpes for a long time - a year, two years - and in that time you have had outbreak after outbreak after outbreak. You feel awful, you're not in a relationship and don't see how you can be and you haven't had sex for ages. You've been to the doctor or the GUM clinic or whatever and they've given you as much help as they can and nothing is any better. Nothing feels any better.
What to do?
Well, you can carry on as you are. That's one option. But here's something else to think about. Time spent sitting at home, feeling not only miserable but as though life is passing you by is time wasted. You're only going to be 25, 32, 36 once - time marches on and opportunities can pass you by.
What is the price that you are paying in letting life pass you by?
This is the 'calculation' that I use when I assess whether or not to pay for extra help from a complementary therapist. Will the positive input of someone else help me get past this 'stuck bit'? What is the value to me of getting past this 'stuck bit' - and the value to me is usually a lot more than the £25 - £40 that private consultations can cost.
How do I protect myself from charlatans - or people who don't deliver what they say they will. Well, maybe I encountered a few when I first decided that I wasn't going to tolerate being stuck any more - but I don't encounter them now. The more 'paid for help' you receive, the better you get at sorting out the wheat from the chaff.
And this is something that you have to do by yourself, to start with. but once you have done it once, you really can begin to do it by yourself.
To me, the value of paying for help has been in helping me to move forward.
So the argument about whether people should pay for help or not isn't about human rights or basic humanity but about what you are prepared to put into your own life in order to live it in the fullest possible way.
Doctors in the public sphere and GUM clinics do not have the resources or the awareness to give you the kick start that you need. That's a decision that you need to make for yourself because you value yourself and you value your life.
When you have herpes and it's getting in the way of living, use all the extra resources that you can. Now.
Should we or shouldn't we?
I've had a few conversations recently on this subject. Quite heated conversations actually. I'm usually in the camp that says that there is a place for complementary therapists and healers, that they need to eat too and that paying a reasonable fee for their services is ethical and acceptable.
However, there's a school of thought that says that no one should have to pay for health care help, ever. If it's not available through publically available healthcare system then it's a scam, is unlikely to work and if you choose to use it, all that you are doing is exposing yourself to the tricks of charlatans and crooks.
Well, maybe that can happen sometimes - but it doesn't happen all of the time and there are also ways to protect yourself from charlatans and crooks. (You have to engage in extensive personal development work to achieve this.)
This school of thought has a very loud voice and loves to discuss the shortcomings of charlatans and the danger they pose to innocently sick people. And if I'm not careful, I can get dragged into this argument.
But this argument goes nowhere. The critics and the sceptics want to prove a point and, to an extent at the moment they can. As long as there is no trust, the charlatans and the crooks will continue to exist. But that is a different story altogether.
What I want to point you in the direction of is the VALUE that can be gained from seeking as much help as you can from as many different sources.
Let's say that you've had herpes for a long time - a year, two years - and in that time you have had outbreak after outbreak after outbreak. You feel awful, you're not in a relationship and don't see how you can be and you haven't had sex for ages. You've been to the doctor or the GUM clinic or whatever and they've given you as much help as they can and nothing is any better. Nothing feels any better.
What to do?
Well, you can carry on as you are. That's one option. But here's something else to think about. Time spent sitting at home, feeling not only miserable but as though life is passing you by is time wasted. You're only going to be 25, 32, 36 once - time marches on and opportunities can pass you by.
What is the price that you are paying in letting life pass you by?
This is the 'calculation' that I use when I assess whether or not to pay for extra help from a complementary therapist. Will the positive input of someone else help me get past this 'stuck bit'? What is the value to me of getting past this 'stuck bit' - and the value to me is usually a lot more than the £25 - £40 that private consultations can cost.
How do I protect myself from charlatans - or people who don't deliver what they say they will. Well, maybe I encountered a few when I first decided that I wasn't going to tolerate being stuck any more - but I don't encounter them now. The more 'paid for help' you receive, the better you get at sorting out the wheat from the chaff.
And this is something that you have to do by yourself, to start with. but once you have done it once, you really can begin to do it by yourself.
To me, the value of paying for help has been in helping me to move forward.
So the argument about whether people should pay for help or not isn't about human rights or basic humanity but about what you are prepared to put into your own life in order to live it in the fullest possible way.
Doctors in the public sphere and GUM clinics do not have the resources or the awareness to give you the kick start that you need. That's a decision that you need to make for yourself because you value yourself and you value your life.
When you have herpes and it's getting in the way of living, use all the extra resources that you can. Now.
Outsiders View
I've been working with a copywriter recently. We've been collaborating on an information sheet that will offer practical 'how to' steps when it comes to telling someone that you have herpes - because it has to be done, occasionally, and it's better if you can do the telling with confidence.
Conscientious copywriters do additional research on their material, looking at the opposition I suppose. So, my copywriter went off to do her research online - and came back with this general comment on sites aimed at peole who have herpes:
'I found in research that a lot of other sites were very sanctimonious, scary or just gave plain weird advice.'
I know the feeling. What is the issue?
It really bothers me that there are many people who think that their lives of love and romance are at an end when they have herpes. This isn't the case.
And who has a right to moralise?
Herpes is a minor viral affection that only interferes with your life if you let it - if you find that it is interfering in your life, then do something about it.
Conscientious copywriters do additional research on their material, looking at the opposition I suppose. So, my copywriter went off to do her research online - and came back with this general comment on sites aimed at peole who have herpes:
'I found in research that a lot of other sites were very sanctimonious, scary or just gave plain weird advice.'
I know the feeling. What is the issue?
It really bothers me that there are many people who think that their lives of love and romance are at an end when they have herpes. This isn't the case.
And who has a right to moralise?
Herpes is a minor viral affection that only interferes with your life if you let it - if you find that it is interfering in your life, then do something about it.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Homeopathy and Herpes
I've recently been involved in a really prolonged discussion on homeopathy and whether or not it can be efective in the treatment of herpes.
Most people who believe in the effectiveness of complementary therapies believe that it can help - and most people who think that complementary therapists are a bunch of quacks believe that homeopathy is a lot of nonsense, entertained only by fools and that it can't help anyone.
Two very extreme camps.
Just to state my position very clearly, I am a believer. I am 100% behind complementary therapists when needed, seek homeopathic treatments from a trained homeopath who has been 'my homeopath' for the past 5 years.
I've had a very positive experience of homeopathy and know that homeopathic remedies have played a big part in creating the extreme good health that I enjoy today.
I was lucky - I found an excellent homeopath, and this really is the first step towards a postive experience of homeopathy.
When I went for my first consultation, I didn't really know what to expect. Like many people, I suppose I had that idea that it was like going to the Doctor and that you came away with a different kind of pill that was kinder to the body than the medication that you get from the Dcotor.
However, it wasn't anything like that. A homeopath offers a long ( at least an hour) informal consultation and takes a full history - which includes your likes and dislikes, some personal history and a description of the experience of your symptoms.
Then, after the consultation, the homeopath will research the remedy for your condition that best suits your constitution - because there can be several different remedies that might heal your condition, but not all of them are best suited to you.
In my case, the remedy arrived by post - and all that you do is take and see what happens.
All homeopaths will advise that if they have prescribed the right remedy, then there is likely to be an aggravation of symptoms very shortly after taking the remedy. This is usually a clue that they have got it right - which doesn't always happen. Most homepaths will offer a second or a third remedy if the first on is not appropriate.
The aggravation of symptoms can be quite difficult at first. After all, we've paid to get better - not worse. However, it's very temporary and is sometimes called a 'healing crisis'. I prefer to describe it as a 'cleansing', because that is what it feels like, a cleansing and a rebalancing.
I've come a long way since that first consultation when I expected that I would be given something to 'fix' me, just as we are used to being given by the Doctor. I've discovered that homeopathy supports the body in healing itself and I know that my body is now far healthier and stronger than it was before. I'm happy to experience a 'healing crisis' because I know that I'll feel much better afterwards.
To get the most from homeopathy, I recommend consulting a trained homeopath.
For herpes, you will have the best results if you ask your homeopath to work with you on eliminating the tendency to outbreaks (rather than on shortening the outbreaks when they occur). This will dramatically improve the overall health of your body, so it's well worth doing.
Most people who believe in the effectiveness of complementary therapies believe that it can help - and most people who think that complementary therapists are a bunch of quacks believe that homeopathy is a lot of nonsense, entertained only by fools and that it can't help anyone.
Two very extreme camps.
Just to state my position very clearly, I am a believer. I am 100% behind complementary therapists when needed, seek homeopathic treatments from a trained homeopath who has been 'my homeopath' for the past 5 years.
I've had a very positive experience of homeopathy and know that homeopathic remedies have played a big part in creating the extreme good health that I enjoy today.
I was lucky - I found an excellent homeopath, and this really is the first step towards a postive experience of homeopathy.
When I went for my first consultation, I didn't really know what to expect. Like many people, I suppose I had that idea that it was like going to the Doctor and that you came away with a different kind of pill that was kinder to the body than the medication that you get from the Dcotor.
However, it wasn't anything like that. A homeopath offers a long ( at least an hour) informal consultation and takes a full history - which includes your likes and dislikes, some personal history and a description of the experience of your symptoms.
Then, after the consultation, the homeopath will research the remedy for your condition that best suits your constitution - because there can be several different remedies that might heal your condition, but not all of them are best suited to you.
In my case, the remedy arrived by post - and all that you do is take and see what happens.
All homeopaths will advise that if they have prescribed the right remedy, then there is likely to be an aggravation of symptoms very shortly after taking the remedy. This is usually a clue that they have got it right - which doesn't always happen. Most homepaths will offer a second or a third remedy if the first on is not appropriate.
The aggravation of symptoms can be quite difficult at first. After all, we've paid to get better - not worse. However, it's very temporary and is sometimes called a 'healing crisis'. I prefer to describe it as a 'cleansing', because that is what it feels like, a cleansing and a rebalancing.
I've come a long way since that first consultation when I expected that I would be given something to 'fix' me, just as we are used to being given by the Doctor. I've discovered that homeopathy supports the body in healing itself and I know that my body is now far healthier and stronger than it was before. I'm happy to experience a 'healing crisis' because I know that I'll feel much better afterwards.
To get the most from homeopathy, I recommend consulting a trained homeopath.
For herpes, you will have the best results if you ask your homeopath to work with you on eliminating the tendency to outbreaks (rather than on shortening the outbreaks when they occur). This will dramatically improve the overall health of your body, so it's well worth doing.
